First, a warm welcome to all of you who have joined my mailing list recently, especially those who invested a whole Saturday of their time and energy to learn about the Foundations of Leadership, Burnout, and figuring out how to say yes and how to say no, on Saturday Feb 15 in Gawler SA. I'm so glad that you have trusted me to share with you further leadership insights via email.
Today, I'd like to share some thoughts on feedback.
I've recently seen several leaders ask those around them for genuine feedback. It is a beautiful thing when it happens well. I'd just like to mention a couple of occasions, and what I've been noticing.
The first has been two young preachers - one only 20, and the other in their (I think!) mid 20's, who genuinely wanted to learn and grow and get better at their craft. Both of them are genuinely good, but are on a rapid learning curve and trying to learn all they can at their craft.
The second is a seasoned leader, who has responsibility for their organisation, who has sent out requests to a wide range of staff from his organisation. He's asked potentially 50 people to sit down in one on one meetings with him and give honest feedback to some critical questions, to help both himself and the organisational leaders to do better in serving the staff, and serving the needs of the whole community.
What has struck me about these requests for feedback are the following:
The value of humility. Without humility, none of these people would have asked for feedback. They genuinely desire to grow and get better.
The value of safety. Without a level of safety in relationships, people are reluctant to ask for feedback. If someone wants feedback, but knows they will only get torn down, wounded, and betrayed, they are far less likely to ask for help
The value of courage. Even with safety, asking for feedback means knowing you may well hear hard things - things you need to sift through to work out what is helpful, what is true, what is said with love, what is said to harm, and what actually needs to be acted on. Leaders who ask for feedback but refuse to act, or dismiss feedback, lose the people they serve. But the true courage is in not just the request for feedback, but also in the courage to respond well, and with wisdom.
The value of experience, wisdom, and time riding the seasons of leadership. The seasoned leader I mentioned above only has the capacity to sit in multiple one-on-one meetings because, over time, he has developed the resilience required to hear, in person, criticism (which he knows he will receive) from people who will be right about the things he does wrong. This is no easy feat for a seasoned leader, let alone a young leader.
The value of the request. The simple act of asking for feedback - with genuine humility, a desire to grow, and a a desire to serve better - has profound long term impacts on both individuals and communities. It builds relationships, breaks down barriers, and makes things better in the long run.
What amazes me is that we have a God who seeks feedback, helps us know how to give it, and also help us know how to receive it.
This is a part of our prayer life. We see throughout scripture, and especially in the Psalms, human beings giving God feedback, sharing their opinion on what God is doing in their life and in the world, giving their opinion on what God should do next, praising God for his great works, and thanking God for the blessings in their lives.
In giving and receiving feedback, and in asking for feedback ourselves, we do well to remind ourselves of the open nature of conversation that God wants between us and Him, that we are free to speak our mind with God (he already knows it) and that God is also wanting us to grow in our relationship with him and in our work in the world.
In a relationship of love and trust, good feedback flows freely both ways. This is what we have with our Father in Heaven. And this is what we can offer to those around us.
May we learn to build great relationships with those around us, so that feedback may flow full of love and trust, with Grace and truth, that we might grow others, and grow ourselves, as we seek to love and serve those we lead.
God bless you today,
Chris Mann.
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